Let's Talk with William Maltese

William Maltese is one of the forefathers of the modern gay lit movement. Bless his heart, he agreed to give me an interview! And what a tease!

What are you insinuating? And if you haven't yet insinuated something, do so now.

Come, on, buddy boy. You can’t tell me that a stud muffin, like you, doesn’t know exactly what I’m insinuating, especially with all of the rumors going around of the good time you provided when you, naked as a jay, showed up at that party, straight from your latest yoga lesson, carrying that copy of the Kama Sutra. But, if you want to go ahead and play innocent, go ahead and do so; but, do let me insinuate that your little naïve act doesn’t convince me for one damned minute, and only makes me fucking pissed off big time that I wasn’t invited to the party.

How did you get into writing?

Well, I always wrote, more than was required, from the time I first learned how (guess I just couldn’t help myself). However, thinking of actually writing novels and short stories for a living certainly never crossed my mind, even though I belonged to all of the journalism and writing classes my schools had to offer…and, even though, one adviser let slip that I was probably the only one in his writing class who ever had a chance to make a success out of writing…and, even after a popular men’s magazine published my account of my South American Inca-treasure-hunting adventure which I undertook between my junior and senior years in university. I was only, ever, prepared to utilize my writing skills doing jingles or slogans for some advertising agency, and, therefore, got my university degree in marketing/advertising. In fact, after university, and after the military, I was just taking off a couple months of summer, before job interviews already set up for me in New York City, San Francisco, and Los Angeles, when I had one of those hey-I-can-write-a-book-as-good-as-this-one epiphanies. Had that first book of mine not been accepted and published, I would likely be freaking out in some genuinely high-stress ad-agency job today.

From reading your website, you seem to have had quite the adventurous life. Is there a particular time in your studly youth you remember more fondly than others?

“Studly youth?” Such flattery, Eric! What, do you want from me, I wonder? Surely, not just the answer to a question. You want that I should assume “the position”; you mean, you want to assume the position? Either way, I’m game, having pretty much been the adventurous sort my whole life. I do have to admit, though, that I truly started having the most fun after high-school, after finally reaching the official “age of consent”, and after having jettisoned all of that teen-angst bullshit. My Inca-treasure-hunting in South America was exceptionally memorable, even if all I did find was a bad case of crotch-rot; it kind of became the template for all the adventurous things in my life that followed.

You've done a lot of traveling. Imagine my jealousy. How has this extensive globe trotting factored into your writing?

Ah, jealous, Eric? Really? I’m flattered, in that I imagine, looking like you do, being who you are, having access to all you have access to, that you’re not very likely jealous of all that much. As for how my extensive globe-trotting factors into my writing, the answer is: It factors in a helluva lot! With the exception of my sci-fi, fantasy, and historical novels, you’ll pretty much find that the locales I write about are places I’ve been. I’ve always found it easier, and more realistic, to write about something, after I’ve been there, done that, gotten the t-shirt (maybe even burned it and tossed the ashes).

Which country has the sexiest men?

Actually, being a connoisseur of sexy men, especially naked and studly ones, I’d say it’s a three-way tie between Italy, Portugal, and Brazil. The young men of Israel can be absolutely stunning, but they have a tendency to go to seed damned fast — maybe their stressful environment. Of course, I was going to add you, but you’re not a country; although, I have heard — lucky you! — that a certain part of your anatomy is as big as one.

We're both signed on to write for the new Young Offenders Media. What are you going to be writing for them?

Anything that I can. I’m always excited by any possible new venue for my work, especially one like YOM that seems to have major plans for multi-media expansion in its immediate future. Presently, I’m mainly in the process of tossing them ideas to see how many, like shit, stick to the outhouse wall.

You have written both gay and straight erotica. Besides the obvious, is there much of a difference between the two?

Well, it’s certainly not just a case of substituting cock for cunt, and vice-versa; although I have more than once written the same novel, albeit in different versions, for straights and for gays; my LOVE’S EMERALD FLAME, originally published as a best-selling m/f Harlequin SuperRomance, most immediately comes to mind, in that it’s lately become the best-selling m/m MLR Press novel BEYOND MACHU. The difference is mainly identifying your audience as straight male, gay male, straight female, or gay female, all four of which have different reading preferences, and go from there. Straight males want cock and pussy, even unthreatening pussy and pussy, but no cock and cock. Gay males want cock and cock, and God help any writer who even tries to bring pussy into the mix. Straight females, these days, are surprisingly not only into cock and pussy, but into cock and cock. Gay females would just as soon you entirely leave cock out of the literary equation, unless it’s rubber and comes affixed to a harness. Of course, the difference between men and women, excluding their sexual plumbing, is that men, gay or straight, require far less lead-in to sex, whereas women want a helluva lot more emotional baggage than wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am (or man). There being, of course, exceptions to every rule, including those.

Do you feel like a traitor, writing for the straights?

Or, then again, Eric, do I feel a traitor, writing for the gays, considering my very first published piece was aimed toward the male heterosexual market? After that, even when I was writing two gay erotica books a month, for months on end, I always managed, somehow, to squeeze in the occasional heterosexual erotica, like my POP ‘N’ SWAP or STARSHIP INTERCOURSE (the latter having become such a classic in hetero erotica that the last copy I saw offered on-line had an attached price tag of over $1000U.S.). So: No and No. No guilt. In fact, I’ve always considered my writing heterosexual erotica of infinite value in my acceptance within the straight community. Variety the spice of life, my friend. Straights can be far more accommodating, and less hostile, if you can provide them evidence that you have at least some inkling of from where they’re coming — if even in their bedrooms. I decided at a very early age, almost simultaneous with realizing I was attracted to men, and vice versa, that too much of the world was heterosexual for me to isolate myself in any way from it.

An impossible question: What's your favorite piece of your own writing?

Not impossible at all, Eric, in that you’re my favorite piece. Ohhhhh, of writing? Well, now, yes, that is an impossible question. With over 200-published books to my credit, I definitely don’t have a clue. I’ve often heard authors say that their favorite books are the ones they’re presently writing. For me, not even that is always true. At the beginning of any project, I’m thrilled and enthralled, straining at the bit to get started; by the near finish of the same book, I’m usually drag-ass wishing that it was over and done, so that I can move on to my next project which suddenly seems really thrilling and enthralling. And I find the end-of-book proofing process genuinely painful. Having to read over and over a book I feel completed, once I’ve typed THE END on the computer screen, can be — even if necessary —an excruciating chore, especially since I always seem to have something in the works calling to me, like those enticing sirens (female, weren’t they?) of mythology.

Who are your own influences? And you can say me if you want.

Well, since you’ve given me your permission, Eric, I can unabashedly say, then, that my main influence is, indeed, “me”. Secondary influences are writers like Edgar Rice Burroughs, or H. Haggard Rider, who provide a bit of rip-roaring adventure as part of their story-lines. A lot of my stories, gay or straight, are set in exotic locales, because I’m turned on by the exotic/erotic and by people usually a lot more adventurous than those found gathered around the company water cooler chit-chatting about last night’s re-run of some popular TV show.

In all seriousness, you do have an important place in the gay literary movement alongside Victor Banis and others. Do you recognize this, or does it feel odd to think of yourself in that way?

You mean, up until now, Eric, we haven’t been serious? Well, Gee Whiz, buddy! Even so, in answer to your question — it doesn’t feel nearly as odd being iconic, these days, as the very first time a friend pointed out my name in the Index of the reference book The Long Road to Freedom, “The Advocate” History of the Gay and Lesbian Movement. After that, I, and my work, began showing up in the context of my having written the very first gay werewolf novel, Valley of the Damned, and how I’d played such a grand part in the formation of the gay detective genre: The Gay Male Sleuth in Print and Film; most recently in Professor Drewey Wayne Gunn’s comprehensive The Golden Age of Gay Fiction.

http://www.mlrbooks.com/ShowBook.php?book=GOLDAGE1

In fact, for insight into just how unaware of the crucial part I was playing in the first baby-steps of gay literature, check out my contributed chapter, “Being There … But Not”, in that last particular book, because I really didn’t have a clue. While many of us early gay writers were, more often than not, persecuted, even serving jail time, I was completely isolated from all of that, mailing in my manuscripts, or accepting my royalty checks, from/in places like Rome, London, Paris, Jakarta…

Whatever happened to Aunt Alice?

Oh, she’s still with Uncle Al; still going on non-stop, at every opportunity, about all that through-the-looking-glass and down-the-rabbit-hole bullshit, not to mention that one-time greasy-spoon diner-dump restaurant of hers.

Aside from the Young Offenders work, anything new that you'd like to plug...er, promote?

Plug? Well, plug you, of course, Eric. Doesn’t everyone want to plug you, even after having plugged you? As for promote … You mean, besides my plugging you — which always comes with such exceptional bragging rights, as you very well know? Well, there are my most recently released works that include my mainstream m/f Aussie romantic adventure novel Dare to Love in Oz from Savant Books…

http://www.prlog.org/10448953.html

My m/m short stories “Bottoms Up” and “Black Candle Reader” in the MLR Press anthologies Melting the Slopes and Love Me Dead…

http://www.mlrbooks.com/ShowBook.php?book=ANTHSLPE
http://www.mlrbooks.com/ShowBook.php?book=ANTHLVDD

There will be (hopefully next month), my m/m novel, I, Debauchee, first of my “I” series for MLR Press, as well as my mainstream m/f teen-angst vampire, witch, warlock, demon, dragon, shape-shifter, candle-reader Flicker: Teen-Warrior Saga that goes print-edition from Savant Books, after its 2009 year-long run, in twice-a-week installments, with over 6000 “friends”, on MySpace, which resulted in some exceptional supplemental candle and artwork from wax-artisan Jfay. Plus about six other contracted books, m/f and m/m, awaiting my attention in the lineup.


Where can people find you on-line?

As in “out to wash”? Or, is that a trick S&M/B&D question, Eric? If you refer to the internet, however, there’s always my…
http://www.williammaltese.com
http://www.myspace.com/williammaltese
http://www.myspace.com/draqual
http://www.myspace.com/flickerwarriors
http://www.myspace.com/maltesecandlegallery
http://www.facebook.com/williammaltese?ref=profile
http://twitter.com/williammaltese

For healthy, delicious, and arm-and-a-leg expensive Xocai chocolate, which I’ve included in the plot-lines of several of my books, including “Black Candle Reader” in LOVE ME DEAD, there’s my…

http://www.mxi.myvoffice.com/williammaltese

Finally, for those true stalkers of William Maltese, they can always GOOGLE my name. Love to have you as a true stalker, by the way, Eric, especially if and when you assume that favorite-of-mine stalk position of yours — the scent-smelling bloodhound.

In the meantime, thanks for having me. You did have me, didn’t you, Eric? That is why I’m feeling so pleasantly euphoric, isn’t it? My memory, or lack there of, don’t ya know!

See what I mean? What a tease!

Hot Shot: Love These Bunz

Thursday's Song

Goodbye to 2009, and farewell you bitch of a decade! This is it folks. The Last song. I did it. I did it the whole damned year. I can't believe it. Damn, it's been a task at times.

"My! My! Time Flies!" by Enya

Dorian Gray the Way God Intended

The new "Doran Gray" remake looks uber hot!

My 10 Favorite CDs of 2009

Favorite CDs from 2009

1. Strange Light, David Berkeley – The voice of autumn ’09 for me. Plaintive and beautiful. Key tracks: Glory, Sweet Auburn, The Only Broken Man

2. Draw the Line, David Grey – This generation’s Nick Drake. Key Tracks: Nemesis, First Chance, Fugitive.

3. Not Far Now, Richard Shindell – One of my favorite vocalists ever, and a powerful storyteller. Key Tracks: Gethsemane Goodbye, State of the Union, Get Up Clara.

4. Middle Cyclone, Neko Case – Loretta Lynn sung through a Lynchian drug haze. Key Tracks: Never Turn Your Back on Mother Earth, The Pharaohs, I’m an Animal. (Bonus points for Most Kick-ass Cover)

5. I and Love and You, The Avett Brothers – Sparse melodies and insightful lyrics. This is the one I see rising on my list as the years go by. Key Tracks: I and Love and You, The Perfect Space, Kick Drum Heart.

6. Ocean Eyes, Owl City – Uber infectious electronic pop, and the biggest surprise of the year for me. Key Tracks: Fireflies, Hello Seattle, On the Wing.

7. Give Up the Ghosts, Brandi Carlile – Full-throated and glorious folkin’ greatness. Key Tracks: Looking Out, Caroline, Before it Breaks.

8. Creaturesque, Throw Me the Statue – Funky synth pop with some killer hooks. Key Tracks: Ancestors, Pistols, Dizzy From the Fall.

9. Wait For Me, Moby – Some of the most beautiful, sweeping melodies of the year. Key Tracks: Pale Horses, A Shot in the Back of the Head, Mistake.

10. Noble Beast, Andrew Bird. The most literate CD I’ve purchased in a while. You might need a dictionary. Key Tracks: Tenuousness, Souverian, Fitz and the Dizzyspells.

One To Grow On:

Sunny Side Up, Paolo Nutini – That voice! My God, that voice! Key Tracks: Candy, Growing Up Beside You, Worried Man.

Favorite CD Purchased This Year, Not Released This Year:

Fleet Foxes, Fleet Foxes – “Beautiful harmonies” doesn’t go far enough. Key Tracks: White Winter Hymnal, Blue Ridge Mountains, Ragged Wood.

Hot Shot: Treat Yourself

Wednesday's Song

On this day in 1924, Edwin Hubble announced there were other existing galaxies. What a kind decision of him.

"The Other Side" by David Gray

My Momma's Mystery Painting

So, a while ago my momma bought a painting she liked at an antique store in Madison. It's a nice landscape painting. I'm not a HUGE fan of landscape paintings, but she loves them. There are a few I like. I bought a print of a T.C. Steele a few years ago and I love that, but it's a rare thing for me. Anyway, since she got the painting we've been trying to discern the artist. The name is autographed in such a scribble that we are unsure. Is it "G. Chaprell"? "G. Charreli"? It's a mystery. Any ideas? Here's the painting:

And the signature:

Can anyone out there help a mother out?

Hot Shot: Hitchhiker

Tuesday's Song

On this day in 1890, US soldiers killed more than 200 Oglala Lakota men, women, and children in the Wounded Knee Massacre.

"Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee" by The Indigo Girls

More About Eric

Last week, GLT News' Cody Wilde interviewed me in a piece about how fabulous I am. The original interview was an interesting ramble, I thought, so I'm gonna share it. I'm gonna share it right here! Hope you like. I had fun doing it. That Cody Wilde's a hoot and a holler:

Eric Arvin is a name not heard very often on the mainstream literary circuit. Who are you?

I am huge, dammit! Huge! {crawls into fetal position}…

I’m just a guy. A guy with a laptop who refuses to keep his stories to himself. The mainstream literary circuit is very rigid in what it wants to accept. That’s fine. But there are those out there who seek reading material that’s a bit different. Hopefully, that’s where I fit in. My books would never feel at home on the same shelf as a Stephanie Myer tome.

You are an out author with a vision. Other than your writings, how do you serve the LGBTQ community?

You do what you can, right? For me, that comes down to writing, whether it be blogging about a particular issue that affects the LGBT community, or fictionalizing a certain aspect of my experiences as a gay man. The hope is that someone will connect. Maybe someone will even think differently. I’ve not got the monetary means to do everything I’d like. Helping gay youth is top on my list. (To paraphrase Lynn Redgrave in “Unconditional Love,” I love gay youth!) Until that happens, I’ll keep pen to proverbial paper and keep making book donations where I can.

You come from the same state as I, in a town not much bigger than my own hometown, tell the readers how growing up was for you?

Not a lot of fun. I went through the normal taunts and stomach aches as any gay kid in Middle America. I was too quiet and shy to be taken seriously by the other boys…and I liked My Little Pony. Sue me! Being raised a Jehovah’s Witness meant there wasn’t a lot of relief to be found at home either. “Gay” was a word unspoken.

When did you ‘realize’ you were gay? When did you come out?

I don’t recall ever ‘realizing’ I was gay. There wasn’t a single moment. It was more a gradual acceptance of myself. At a very young age I had my first gay crush on a class mate. That lasted about a month. Before that, Bo Duke was all I could think about, which is strange because I’m not into blondes.

Officially, I guess I came out my senior year in high school after my father died. But unofficially, it actually happened long before that.

How is being gay in Hanover in 2009 as it was say, 10 years ago?

You know, I can’t say it’s much different. Hanover is not a town barreling towards change. That said, the town is also not intolerant. Ten years ago I was going to school at Hanover College, and I found it a very accepting place. I was completely ‘out’ and was never harassed about it once – of course, at that time I was hitting the weights pretty hard and had twenty inch arms. Admittedly, though, I was a pussycat.

You write about characters that are somewhat similar to yourself—especially in one of your most recent novels, “Subsurdity”. Describe yourself in a synopsis format as you would on the back cover of your novels.

I am awful at writing synopses…synopsi? Anyway, Eric is a man lost and struggling to find his place in a world that he finds at once too large and too small. He’s perhaps too aware of things, and that’s where lies his comedy. A comedy of Erics….

You have a novel coming out—“Kid Christmas Rides Again” on December 16th. Can you share a synopsis regarding the first KC and on this one?

Well, it’s an ebook novella. The first short story, “Kid Christmas Meets Snow Globes”, was a filthy little comedic romp illustrated by Absolutbleu about the guy in charge of Christmas after Santa kicks the bucket. He’s a humpy bodybuilder – the Christmas image in need of a healthy makeover – who’s promptly kidnapped by the villainous Snow Globes and the ravenous ice dildo army. (Serious literature here, folks!) The new version includes that tail...er, tale as well as four more and four new illustrations by Absolutbleu.

What is new and near in your future?

I am of the opinion that to discuss future plans in certainty is bad luck, but I will say I have at least five projects set for a 2010 release. Hopefully, these will happen. I’d also like to get my first book tour underway. I’m relying on friends to put me up at their homes to save on hotels. I put out. Well, not to women…Ah, hell! I need the publicity. Bring on the ladies!

Hot Shot: Dramatics

Monday's Song

On this day in 1832, John C. Calhoun resigned as VP of the United States.

"Calling it Quits" by Aimee Mann

Cinema 09

How thoughtful of someone to put together a montage of all the films I haven't seen this year! (This is a very "straight boy centric" list. Where's A Single Man??)

United States of Pop 2009

I'll admit it. I don't know who most of these artists are. But this remix by DJ Earworm is pretty cool.

Hot Shot: Art

Sunday's Song

On this day in 1979, the Soviet Union invaded Afghanistan.

"We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel

Wheelchair Bodybuilding

Very moving and inspirational:

Hot Shot: Exhausted

Saturday's Song

On this day in 1993, my father died after a week in a coma from a stroke brought on by a cavernous himangioma.

"You're Missing" by Bruce Springsteen

Let's Talk with Cyndie Hasty

I reviewed Cyndie Hasty’s album Temptation a while back, and I love the woman so much I thought I’d invite her over for an interview. I’m glad I did. We got to chatting about James Purdy, Grey Gardens, and books falling on our heads. She’s absolutely terrific, honestly! ;-)

Let's start off with a question that's weighing on the minds of many out there. If gay adoption were legal in all 50 states, would you adopt me?

Of course, I would adopt you! I would bounce you on my knee and nurse you on power shakes so you’d never leave!

You're an accomplished singer/songwriter. You haven't had a new collection out in nearly 10 years. Why the long down time?

Hmm…life? It’s hard to believe it’s been that long ago! While I’ll always love creating music, I must say that the music business, as it is and has been for awhile, is demoralizing and creepy. I’m not into most current pop music at all, but would die to hear the likes of an EmmyLou or Rickie Lee somewhere, anywhere on the airwaves. The poetry of lyrical music is still alive and well with certain artists but you just won’t hear them unless you seek them out.

Otherwise (besides railing against the mediocrity of the system!), I’ve been working on several different projects including two cartoon series and a semi-autobiographical book about growing up in the Deep South. I also plan to record an acoustic set of songs from “Under A Lackawanna Moon,” a historical musical that my sister, playwright/actor, Nancy Hasty and I co-created as artists-in-residences in Pennsylvania. It has been performed for several years both in the Dunmore and the Waverly Cemeteries near Scranton, Pennsylvania. Lackawanna Moon is based on local archives, family letters and oral histories that highlight the plight of immigrants, working children (prior to child labor laws) coal miners, runaway slaves on the Underground Railroad and Civil War veterans. I’m very proud of the work we’ve done and found it very fulfilling to write songs that reflect Pennsylvania history as well as deal with the tricky subject of death.

I also have a collection of gospel-inspired songs that I want to record and enlist some of my favorite musician friends such as the wonderful Karlus Trapp, who has played with me for years, and my sister, Phyllis Hasty, to sit in as guest artists.

Who do you get compared to musically the most? And does this annoy you?

When I perform alone on the piano, I sometimes hear the L Word (as in Laura Nyro) which is the biggest compliment EVER and would never, ever annoy me!

What's your most favoritest song you've ever written, and why?

That’s a hard one. A lot of my songs are stories about my family and the south. One of my most favorite songs is one I’ve never recorded because it’s so personal, about the death of my beloved brother, Kenny. His cancer devastated him at 17 and has been one of the biggest losses in my life. Writing the song was cathartic for me. My brother had shaped my life in so many ways and especially musically (he had been the rock-n-roller in the family while at the time, I was leaning heavily into The Carpenters and Anne Murray…he brought me back from the brink!). I feel like the song is a bit of eulogy for him.

My favorite song of yours, "Come and Dance with Me", is based on my favorite book, In a Shallow Grave, by James Purdy. You're an avid reader. Why did you choose this book to write a song about?

Besides his amazing storytelling, I was struck by the visual images Purdy created. Those evocative dances under the stars stayed with me for a long time before I wrote the song. It’s funny, a roommate’s boyfriend had checked out In a Shallow Grave from the library and told me it was very intriguing. I borrowed it and read it in one sitting, as I’m sure most readers have. Since then, I’ve asked a lot of people if they have read it or heard of James Purdy and so few have. I recently tried to find another copy and called every bookstore in Manhattan and no one had it. I finally found a used copy at The Strand. I think he needs to be elevated in the American canon.

Who are your influences, first in music, then in writing?

Another good question, young man! I especially love southern writers: Truman Capote, William Faulkner, Eudora Welty, Flannery O’Connor, John Kennedy Toole, Tennessee Williams, etc. There are so many that have influenced me. Bailey White wrote one of my favorite books, Mama Makes Up Her Mind, hysterically funny short stories that are, at the same time, poignant and bittersweet. I also loved the love story in Fanny Flagg’s Fried Green Tomatoes and Flannery O’Connor’s A Good Man is Hard to Find freaks me out every time I read it. Not just the horrific ending but the dark humor she injects even in the most serious of circumstances. Characters that inhabit the southland are like those the world over: flawed, scary, funny, prejudiced, hateful, loving. Yet the most mundane life can be scintillating in the hands of these masters. Growing up in the south, there is something so recognizable in these southern characters. And while there are deep, universal truths that everyone can relate to, it is the specificity of the southern culture that goes straight to my soul.

Music, let’s see. Here’s some of my influencers:
Laura Nyro, Joni Mitchell, Rickie Lee Jones, Jimmy Webb, Johnny Mercer, Patsy Cline, Bobbie Gentry, Hank Williams, Sr., Tom Petty, Johnny Cash, Tom Waits, Neil Young, Leonard Cohen, Lucinda Williams, Billie Holiday, Steve Goodman, Phoebe Snow, Bette Midler, John Prine, Ella Fitzgerald, Louie Armstrong, The Mills Brothers, Dusty Springfield, Sarah Vaughn, The Allman Brothers, Joe Jackson, Louis Prima, Duke Ellington, Glenn Miller, John Boutte, Marty Robbins, Lyle Lovett, The Beatles, Paul Simon, The The, Randy Newman, Radka Toneff, Maria Muldaur, Jimmy Spheeris, Pink Floyd. And so many more…

Oh, I inverted your questions – sorry!

That's quite alright. What a fantastic list!...As far as your writing goes, are there any projects stirring?

Why, yes! It’s the book I mentioned above with the working title of “Trip to Bonifay” that I am trying to finish up in a timely manner. I tend to write as the spirit moves me which means I have to go back and readdress the chronological order fairly often. But I find that when I’m drawn to some particular part of the story, it’s best to go with the flow and write as I feel it. I tend to be very obsessed about my memories during the process and live in a sort of netherworld.

Who Slew Auntie Rew?

The kiddies, by fire? Btw, I happened upon another great classic during Halloween weekend, Dementia13.
Check out this awesome trailer! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUe_HqotyH8

Which is the better film: Grey Gardens or Dude, Where's My Car?

Uh, is that a real question? Of course it’s Dude, Where’s My Car!
And that's SOOOOOO not true!! You and I both worship at the altar of The Edies and besides your dashing good looks, wonderful talent and winning ways, another reason I adore you is that you’re a Grey Gardens fanatic with the best of ‘em. “We all march together!”

If you were in your library, and a book fell from a shelf on your head, would you rather it be Ulysses or War & Peace?

Could we switch them to The Dubliners and Lolita instead? I think they’d hurt a little less. In any case, I’d have to go with Mr. Joyce.

Where can people head online to find out more about you and your music and other projects?

You can check out my website at http://www.cyndiehasty.com/.

Thank you so much. As Big Edie would say, “Honestly, Eric, you’ve been a real doll!”

Hot Shot: Happy Holidays!

This is from the cover of fellow Dreamspinner Press author Chrissy Munder's new book. I love it!

You should see the unedited version of this Kid Christmas promo!

Friday's Song (Early)

Tomorrow is Christmas. This is going up early because I don't know if I'll be able to post. Here's my favorite Christmas song and Judy Garland at her most beautiful.

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Judy Garland

Hot Shot: Army Recruitment

I'm in as long as I get to play with GI Joe here...

Thursday's Song

It's Christmas Eve Day, or as we called it growing up Jehovah's Witnesses, Thursday.

"Christmas Eve" by Celine Dion

Hard Candy Christmas

One of the best Christmas songs ever. That's a lot of sad hookers.

Hot Shot: ReNIPulous

Love the pieced nip...

Wednesday's Song

On this day in 1972, the 16 survivors of the Andes flight disaster are rescued after 73 days, staying alive by cannibalism.

"Alive & Kicking" by Simple Minds

The Daventry Blue Film Awards

I was once a huge awards show fan - you know, back when there were under 700 of them (snark). Now, there are film awards everywhere you look. I don't know if this speaks more to Hollywood's love affair with itself or the people, i.e. critics, who perpetuate this self-importance. It's disgusting.

So, here are mine.

The First Annual Daventry Blue Awards for films I have seen this past year that don't necessarily have to be made in the past year. Honestly, I'm really bad at seeing new films. The last time I was in an actual movie theater was 2003. I would say I'm kidding, but I'm not. Yes. I am that pathetic. Here are my favorite films and performances I saw last year...as if they need MORE accolades (my favorite is highlighted):

Best Motion Picture:

The Ice Storm
Knocked Up
Milk
Nick & Nora's Infinite Playlist
Wall*e

Best Lead Actor:

Steve Coogan, Tristram Shandy
Billy Crudup, Stage Beauty
Kevin Kline, The Ice Storm
Sean Penn, Milk
Seth Rogan, Knocked Up

Best Lead Actress:

Judy Garland, I Could Go On Singing (That hospital scene...wow)
Judy Holliday, Born Yesterday
Gretchen Mol, The Notorious Bettie Page
Maggie Smith, Travels With My Aunt
Meryl Streep, Mama Mia!

Best Actor in a Supporting Role:

Josh Brolin, Milk
Willem Dafoe, Shadow of the Vampire
James Franco, Milk
Emile Hirsch, Milk
Paul Rudd, Knocked Up

Best Actress in a Supporting Role:

Joan Allen, The Ice Storm
Leslie Mann, Knocked Up
Imelda Staunton, Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix
Lilly Taylor, The Notorious Bettie Page
Sigourney Weaver, The Ice Storm

Hot Shot Year in Review: Eric's Favs, Vol. 2 of 4

Hot Shot: What Costume?

Tuesday's Song

According to who you ask, today is Winter Solstice. It's also my sister Amy's birthday.

"Winter Solstice Song" by Lisa Thiel

Love Those French Sailors!

I saw this commercial on the TV last night and was floored by its sheer sexitude. It reminds me of Jean Genet's "Querelle."

My Bloggiversary!

It is COLD out there, bitches! I gots my longjohns on. They don't look as sexy on me as I was hoping they would. I guess I won't be running into a woodsman while I'm out today and having hot Tom of Finland sex-lovin'...sigh...

Anyway, today is my bloggiversary! Yay! A year ago today I started this little fiasco, and have met some great new friends. To show my appreciation for your readership or mockery, I have three copies of the original Kid Christmas short "Kid Christmas Meets Snow Globes" - complete with the three original illustrations - I will give to the first three readers who comment here. One exception: I can't send out of country. I'm just too poor lately. Sorry.

This won't be too complicated. My email in on my blogger profile, so if you win it will be up to you to get hold of me.



Good luck, and Thanks!

Hot Shot: Spankable

For some reason, this guy looks to me like he just got out of the shower...You know, that 'fresh out of the shower' smell...

Monday's Song

It's the first day of winter, and I have been waiting all year to post this song.

"White Winter Hymnal" by Fleet Foxes

Hot Shot: "But I Wanna Go Out!"

"We're having a romantic dinner, if I have to tie you to the chair!"
{leans back in chair} "Ah, man!"

Sunday's Song

Since the entire Northeast has been gripped by what David Dust hilariously refers to as the Snowpocalypse, I thought this song would be appropriate:

"Valley Winter Song" by Fountains of Wayne

Hot Shot Year in Review: Eric's Favs, Vol. 1 of 4

Evolving Thought

Imagine a ginormous rubber ball. This is what I call the Conscious Center. Now, imagine millions and millions of tiny rubber strings shooting out in all directions from that Conscious Center, each containing a minuscule fraction of the totality. When the strings reach a certain point, they snap back to the ball and another string shoots out in their place. No two strings ever have the exact same path. The Conscious Center is always there. YOUR Conscious Center. The life that you live right now is only a tiny bit of the big ball.

There is no death, only infinite re-examinations of life. Life in all directions.

This is my evolving spirituality. The rest is illusion, right?

Hot Shot: The Peep Show

On certain fellas, ass cleavage is just fine...

Saturday's Song

On this day in 1915, Edith Piaf was born.

"Non, je ne regrette rien" by Edith Piaf

Gettin' My Groove On

Love the beat here, and the choreography, even if the words are literally gibberish:

Sherry Vine, Bad Romance Parody

Tasteless, but so damn funny! I love the bath tub scene: "Girl, I just shit my pants!"

Hot Shot: Striking

Not much else to say...

The Young Victoria, Trailer

Emily Blunt is getting raves for her performance in The Young Victoria, which opens Friday. I love Emily Blunt. LOVE HER!

Friday's Song (Early)

On this day in 1620, the Mayflower landed at present day Plymouth, Mass. They got there via determination and a time machine.

"Pilgrim" by Enya

Let's Talk with Dorien Grey

Well well well…Mr. Dorien Grey. I’ve read on your website that you were in the Navy for a while. Any kinky tales? …just kidding. No, really. Tell me.

Can they take away my honorable discharge after all these years? I can assure you being on an aircraft carrier with 3,000 other guys wasn't easy, and I was terrified of being caught. However, there was one night in a bar in Athens....and another when I helped a drunk buddy get his clothes off and into bed at 3 a.m. ......Sigh. But no. No stories. None.

You were an editor for many years. What made you decide to pick up the pen, as it were, and start writing fiction?

Being an editor and seeing some of the stuff that came across my desk ("The pressed their lips together and enjoyed it very much" is one line I'll never forget) convinced me I couldn't possibly do worse.

When did you have your first piece of fiction published?

My first piece of fiction was published, I think, in high school. The south had just rejoined the Union, and....

Your novel, Aaron’s Wait, has been getting kudos lately, including placement in the Best Overall Novel Category at the Rainbow Awards. What’s this book about?

The Elliott Smith Mystery series is all about an ordinary guy who doesn't believe in ghosts who comes across a ghost who believes in him. In "Aaron's Wait," Elliott, who is buys and renovates old apartment buildings, finds he has a tenant who refuses to move, partly because he's waiting for someone, and partly because he's dead.

How is Elliott Smith, your new protagonist, different from your other hero, Dick Hardesty?

Well, Dick is an alternate universe me; the me I would love to be. Elliott is much more practical, more down-to-earth, more, again, the kind of regular guy I've always admired but could never have been.

If a film or television series was adapted from either the Dick Hardesty or Elliott Smith books, who would you like to see star?

For Dick, either Jeffrey Donovan of Burn Notice or Colin Ferguson of Eureka. For Elliott, Matthew Morrison, the teacher in Glee.

Ooooh! Hot choices!... Your lone non-mystery novel, Calico, a gay western romance, has a nice fan base. Are there plans to do any more non mystery books?

To be honest with you, I really should, and may well, but the ideas for Dick and Elliott just keep coming. Several people have asked me about a sequel to "Calico", but in my mind it's a stand-alone. Calico and Josh found each other and I want them to live happily ever after without any more interference from me.

As a novelist, who inspires you? Whose work did you look up to before you began writing?

As a kid, I was a sponge. Ray Bradbury was a tremendous influence on me, but the book I'd most love to have written is Robert Lewis Taylor's "Adrift in a Boneyard." I've read that book umpteen times and laugh myself sore every time. Great literature it aint, but, oh, funny it is!

Have you ever received a review that so enraged you that you wanted to rip…I mean, that made you real sad?

I've really been lucky in not having received a really scathing review. Some have stung a bit, and the little boy in me, who always wants to please and to be loved, truly feels bad when someone doesn't really like something I've written.

What’s your favorite mystery film? And screw Sherlock Holmes.

Hmmmm. Favorite mystery film. Really hard to choose one among the hundreds and hundreds I've seen over the years. So I'll have to do one of my "Oh! Look over there!!" numbers and steal away without answering while you're preoccupied.

Who’s Harry Kellerman, and why is he saying those terrible things about me?

Oh, you're wrong! Harry speaks VERY highly of you. They just sound terrible.

Damn you, Harry! (Shakes fist at sky).... Where can readers find you and your books online? Hmmmmmm?

Just type in "Dorien Grey". You'll get 10,000 references to Oscar Wilde, but I'm in there, too. Or go to my website (www.doriengrey.com) or to Facebook or Twitter or Author's Den or in about 43 sites and groups.... Or look for the guy standing on the corner with his thumb out and a bunch of books under one arm.

Cody and Me

That sexy little package of fun Cody Wilde did a write-up on me on GLTNN. It's the second part of the column. Go have a visit and then wander around the rest of GLTNN. It's a very informative site.

Hot Shot: Could I Be Any Sexier?

The eyes, the tug on the shirt, the thigh.....

Thursday's Song

On this day in 1989, FOX premiered the first episode of The Simpsons.

"Look at All Those Idiots" by Mr Burns

Suburbilicious on Deep Dish

Marc Harshbarger, the author and Deep Dish himself, gave Suburbilicious a kickass review on his site. While you're there, check out his other features. He's got some groovy takes on classic TV, and did I mention the hot mens?!

Kid Christmas Released! (Again)

Guess what's released today! I'll give you some hints....

No?

Still no? Well, I'll just spell it out:

Get it in ebook form HERE!!! It's the original story, Kid Christmas Meets Snow Globes and its 4 illustrations, along with FOUR new adventures & FOUR new illustrations by Absolutbleu!